Yesterday I went to confession at a different parish, one that's a little closer to home. The line was quite lengthy, but with several priests hearing confessions it moved quite quickly. Now it doesn't matter whether I make my confession face-to-face or in the box. It just happened to be the box when it came to be my turn. When I first entered there was light to show the way, but as I knelt the tiny room became engulfed in darkness.
Now there was nothing new in that experience with the exception of the fact that I noticed it was much darker than the confessional at my own parish. It was so dark I couldn't see my hand in front of my eyes. It was a strange feeling to be in that type of darkness. But I thought how appropriate. It made me think how vital it is that we make regular confessions, more than once or twice a year. For it is from the outer darkness, the land of wailing and nashing of teeth that confession saves us from. Without it we would parish.
The Church teaches that Christ calls us “to conversion and penance, like that of the prophets before Him, His call does not aim at outward works, “sackcloth and ashes,” fasting and mortification, but at the conversion of the heart, interior conversion. Without this, such penances remain sterile and false; however conversion urges expression in visible signs, gestures and works of penance (see Joel 2:12-13; Isaiah 1:16-17; Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18).
Interior repentance is a radical reorientation of our whole life, a return, a conversion unto God with our whole heart. It means an end to all intentional sin, a turning away from evil, with repugnance toward the evil actions we have been committing. But at the same time it entails that we desire a resolution to changing our life with hope in Gods mercy and trust in the help of His grace. This conversion of heart is accompanied by a salutary pain and sadness which the Father’s called animi cruciatus (affliction of the spirit) and compunctio cordis (repentance of the heart)” (CCC 1430-31).
Interior penance begins a life long journey of repentance and conversion. But too often we have a tendency to view that conversion in a manner that prevents one from excelling in the life of Christ. It is right to view it as something spread across our entire lives, but it isn’t right to view it as something that is in the distant future. Far too many look upon conversion in such a way that it leaves them in the same spot and in the same frame of mind, one that prevents any forward movement. Thus they begin to resemble more of a stagnating, mosquito infested pool of water, than one that continuously moves forward toward a Christ-like life. Repentance and conversion must begin with a frame of mind that seeks to make a true confession before the agents of God. Interior penance requires… “The sinner to endure all things willingly, be contrite of heart, confess with the lips, and practice complete humility and fruitful satisfaction. Among the penitents acts contrition must occupy first place. Contrition is “sorrow of the soul and detestation for the sin committed, together with the resolution not to sin again” (CCC 1450-51). We must be willing to hear the voice of Christ when He said to the woman caught in adultery, “Go and sin no more” (John 8:11). And to the sick man He found by the Bethesda pool, “See, you have been made well. Sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you” (John 5:14).
The sacrament of reconciliation is not to be looked upon or used as a revolving door to momentarily relieve the conscience of guilt only to return and repeat the same sins again in habitual form. There is no forgiveness if there is no true sorrow and remorse for the sins one has committed. We all have sins that we struggle with. In fact we must face the fact that we may struggle with or be tempted to commit those sins until the day we die. But its how we look upon those times of temptation to a particular sin (or sins) that counts.
When temptation affords itself and we flee crying out to the Lord for strength, then we are on the right track. However, when those temptations rear their ugly head and we gaze upon them and embrace them as we would a long lost friend, then we are in trouble! Reconciling With God isn’t about keeping rules. It’s about freedom and new life. It’s about a heart filling experience. What Jesus did for His friend Lazarus He desires to do for you and I and that’s to give us new life.
In John 11, we find Jesus and His disciples traveling to Bethany near Jerusalem. Word had been sent that His friend Lazarus was sick and near death. Upon their arrival in Bethany He was met by Martha the sister of Lazarus. She was distraught over her brother’s death and said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask of God, God will give you.” Jesus said unto her, “Your brother will rise again.”
Now Martha knew that on the day of resurrection her brother would live. But Jesus wasn’t referring to the future but to the present. So He said unto her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.” Then Jesus asked the million-dollar question, “Do you believe this?” Many say they believe. But if they possessed true belief they would be willing to come forth out of the grave of sin to new everlasting life.
